As I have stated a number of times previously when I started this journey I knew I was submissive person and I never thought about being anyone’s little. Heck, I didn’t even know what being a little meant until I did research on the subject. That meant join even more groups for Daddy Doms/little girl on Fet and going to my favourite search engine Google.
I am strong, independent single mother of 3 children. Even when I was married I had to be the strong, confident and dominant personality within the relationship. It is a role I had to take on, I don’t like being put in that position it is not one that find comfortable. My oldest child is 21 and my youngest 14 they are getting older, they are becoming more independent and they all will soon be flying off to make their own next soon enough.
I have had be a “grown up” since a very early age even when I still had to live with my parents. I left home at a very early age, had my first child early too. So I have always been responsible person making sure people where they should be at the right time, made sure they had everything they needed and were correctly fed and clothed.
As I said earlier, I am not comfortable being dominant, I feel happier and feel complete being a submissive within a relationship; the relationship with ex-Sir showed me. Now the relationship between him and I didn’t last long, but showed what it would mean to be the true me. He was one who began me on this path and in part gave me the permission to start on this journey. Even he would admit that although I was his idea of a “perfect little sub” there was times where my behaviour was not sub-like at all and there was a few times where I had to put our relationship on hold because my past traumas interfered with it.
This let me know that as much as I have tried to deal with the past trauma it will and still affects aspects of my life now. I wasn’t sure if this would be a factor within any new relationship. Up to this point in time, Daddy does know there was trauma but not all the details; although I will tell him in time.
What the relationship that Daddy and I have is yes there are rules; currently working on them, yes there is protocols; also working on these, and yes we are two mature adults. But Daddy allows me to be a little girl in our relationship.
What is a little girl with BDSM?
I would normally cut and paste load of different sources here and add my own comments, but believe I might even broke Google. Therefore due to the lack of information that I can’t find I will best describe it but it will be my own personal opinion from my own point of view.
I am a natural submissive women who would choose to do so in every aspect of my life if I could, but I can’t my ex and my kids always need more to the dominant one within my real-life; which I loath with a passion. But when I get to spend time being a submissive; with either ex-Sir or Daddy, I feel so much at home, complete and whole as I have said and will say throughout this blog/journal a large number of times.
When I started out on this journey I researched submissives and slaves; which there is loads of information out there, in books, websites and even blogs. There is also a loads of information out there of the different dominants out there also. When I meet Daddy I did a little bit of research on Daddy Doms and what that means for a submissive.
“A baby girl or little girl is nearly always a female submissive who is coddled or cared for more tenderly than the average submissive. Can also be a term used for a submissive who identifies as a little or adult baby.”
In my case, even though my Daddy is very much a Dominant he is what most would describe “gentle” Dom, he is the sweet, kind and like to make sure that I am satisfied before he is. When we started chatting I did call him Daddy right away but that is because his name of handle, but I wasn’t sure how him being a Daddy Dom would affect our relationship until we actually met. That first weekend, I did a little experimenting, testing theories and hypothesises.
Testing included when I should and shouldn’t be a little, what age little did Daddy respond to most? I found that Daddy liked me to be a little outwith our play sessions. I went through I a number of age ranges, Teenager; 13-16, that just got Daddy’s hackles rising, Tweenie; 9-13, he just ignored that behaviour, Older Child; 6-9, got a reaction but not the one I got with another age, Toddler; 1-3, got a reaction but not one I got with another age, Baby; 0-1, didn’t test this age, Young Children; 3-6, this age that Daddy responded with the most positivity and got the biggest grin on his face.
“A little is similar to an adult baby in that they like to pretend to be a different age, but little’s are usually between 3-13 years old. Many little’s like to colour, watch cartoons, play with dolls and stuffed animals, and snuggle in Daddy’s lap.”
Now the above statement is something that we haven’t tried yet I am not sure if I/we will actually try that and from my research within Fet groups not all little’s do this. Like everything else in life it is down to personal choice.
During our second weekend I wanted to double-check that the age range that I had noticed the previous weekend was correct and to see exactly when Daddy is okay with me being little and when he liked me being big. I also wanted to see if I could narrow down the age range a little to see if there was a specific age that Daddy like me too be. He prefers me to me to be around age 3.
What this means how I should act around Daddy, so for me I decided to check out child developmental websites and I came up with:-
- While playing, they are better able to ignore distractions and focus on the task at hand. They will even persist in completing something that is a bit difficult and can think more creatively and methodically when solving problems.
- They learn lots of new words and make major improvements in pronunciation. They communicate in simple sentences and are refining their use of grammar. Children this age begin to initiate conversations, want to talk about areas of interest and can relate personal experiences to others with the support of some prompting from grown-ups.
- Able to listen to and understand conversations, stories, songs and poems. They are learning their letters, but may also refer to numbers as “letters.” They notice print in the environment and may ask what it means. They also realize that print in books tells a reader what to say. During the year, scribbles begin to appear more like letters and children may string several of these “letters” together to form mock words. They become aware of the uses for writing and may dictate words for adults to write down.
- Children this age develop their logical reasoning skills as they play. They can put together simple puzzles and understand that a whole object can be separated into parts. They are able to classify and sort objects, but usually by only one characteristic at a time. Three year olds identify and describe objects that are the “same” or “different.” They can count up to “five,” and begin to recognize written numerals “0” through “9.”
- They have improved their abilities to run, climb and perform other large-muscle activities. They can ride a tricycle or pump a swing. They can catch a large ball using two hands and their bodies. Improved finger dexterity allows them to put together simple puzzles, use tools, hold crayons with fingers instead of fists, make balls and snakes out of clay and undress without assistance.
- Need familiar adults nearby for security as they explore and play. As they develop more independence, children this age begin to have real friendships with other children. When conflicts arise with peers, three year olds will typically seek adult assistance. They are learning to recognize the causes of feelings and will give simple help, such as a hug, to those who are upset. Three year olds can better manage their emotions, but may still fall apart under stress.
- Abilities in the creative arts by developing greater control over their voices and by recognizing, naming and singing their favourite songs. They can play simple rhythm instruments with a developing ability to control beat, tempo and pitch. Their art also begins to include recognizable subjects. Three year olds love dramatic play and will sometimes get so involved in their imagined scenarios that they continue their roles even after the play stops. They also prefer to use real objects and costumes in their pretend play.
A lot of what is stated above WILL NOT apply to me or our relationship, but it can be used as guideline over what can be expected from an average three year old. I just need to figure out what Daddy will allow and not allow when I am being little IF ANY.
The Daddy/girl dynamic seems to be divided into 3 major sub-categories that are very different and attract different people. It often confuses people to simply say Daddy/little girl, because they mean different things to different people.
I will use the more common Daddy(male)/girl(female) in this discussion, but it works equally well for reversed gender situations. I do not address in this piece the different terms “girl”, “little girl”, “babygirl”, because there is still considerable argument over their usage in these subcategories.
- Non-ageplay: Biologically older man and younger woman: Typically a longer-term relationship with a lot of real nuturing and caring and advice. Usually do not use the term “little”. No minors involved. Since this is a 24×7 relationship, the participants have to deal with the attitudes of relatives and friends concerning large age gaps.
- Age-play: Biological ages irrelevant: Woman pretends to be a younger age during temporary “scenes”, regressions, or play time. May use the term “little” with a predefined age. The fact that it is played out in scenes does not mean it cannot be part of a 24×7 long term adult relationship. It just means that the participants may slip out of their roles for work and other duties, and “switch” the dynamic on and off. Nobody outside the relationship need ever find out. A subset large enough within age-play that it warrants its own discussion is the “adult baby” (AB) or “adult kid” (AK). Participants experience an age regression and use diapers, pacifiers, toys, and other props from pre-pubescence or infancy to achieve often therapeutic results. Non-sexual and may not require the presence or existence of a “Daddy”. Often acted out solo. Probably as many male as female participants, if not more. “Diaper Lover” (DL) is a form of paraphilia of being sexually aroused by an object and might not be part of a regression.
- Non-ageplay, non-biological age difference, not scene-dependent: Manifests itself in two primary ways: a. Adult woman has one or more separate entities sometimes referred to as “littles” of predefined age that may appear at various times without requiring an explicit “scene”. b. Adult woman constantly or often feels little without identifying herself specifically as “a little” and without it necessarily being a distinctly separate entity of her personality.
Both a and b in #3 are similar to age-play because of the biological adulthood, but the littleness is a much more “real” and ongoing part of her personality. May include some of the features and activities of the first two subcategories (#1 and #2). In the first instance (3a), the appearance of a distinct “little” might be a result of dissociation, or may even be a manifestation of DID/MPD, etc. Both 3a and 3b might not be able to be switched on and off at will. The feeling of being small or young may not even require the presence or even existence of a Daddy. People outside the relationship may have a sneaking suspicion that something is “different”.
I realize that #3 is controversial in that it postulates that one can “feel” a younger age without calling it “age play”. Some may protest against that notion. Others would protest that feeling a younger age is not play at all, but reality.
Please be aware that, as I talk to more and more people in these subcategories, I may update this article to reflect what I am learning. If you would like to copy this article, please provide a link back to this original, so if I make any updates to it, they can be found too.
I personally see myself as the third type 3b as Daddy and I don’t do any age play; although we in the future, but there is times where I regress to being a little; most of the time without realizing I am, and Daddy likes it when I do as much as he likes it when I am big. Although I don’t admit this as much on Fet as like WizarDavid stated it can start an argument FAST there, but this is my blog and my opinion so I will admit here.
But there is also something else I have to consider being a little; this might take a bit longer to figure out. I would love to think I could describe this well, but I found this on Fet and thought it was a lot better than anything I could come up with.
However, regardless of how many different dynamics there may be, It seems to me, that little’s seem to fall into three categories. I’d like to share my thoughts and get your feedback. Do you see yourself in anyone of them? Do you think there is one I didn’t think of?
- Emotional Little: This little is brought out by their emotional state. Fear, vulnerability, sadness, happiness, excitement, etc.. Maybe it is being around other little’s and having fun and being silly or being sad and wanting their Daddy/Mummy to hold them and protect them. Sometimes their emotions can dictate their responses to situations, having them seem to “not be acting their age” to others. Emotions can be sometimes extreme, (silliness turns to brattiness or sadness turning to anger) but, when made to feel safe and secure these emotions often can be levelled and controlled.
- Physical Little: This little is often brought out because of the physical items in their presence. Examples of this can be diaper play, bottles, pacifiers, stuffed animals, blankets or other items like that. Adult baby clothes. play pens and special rooms made for the little are other physical items that can help the little come out. These little’s tend to be in their little space while participating in the activity, and their responses and emotions are relating to the activity they are in.
- Role Play Little: These little’s are brought out in the atmosphere of role play. In the bedroom, (Teacher, student…Baby/little, etc.…) it can manifest in a sexual encounter. A themed party where one dresses and acts like a school girl, or even an innocent bed time story ritual are other areas that role play (RP) can bring out a little. The Baby/little dynamic is brought out by the RP, and often does not carry over to real life. Often times the RP will incorporate negations or pre planning before the scene, (either a “script” or a pre-discussed fantasy) and has an obvious beginning and ending.
I personally see myself as emotional little as for me I believe that why I have had use “duvet days” or have emotional time-outs from this lifestyle or my normal life is because this is the age a regress to when being a big girl gets too stressful, complicated or over-whelming. This is also the age where I felt safe before all the horrible stuff was imprinted in my young brain.
Although I suspect as the relationship develops we might include some RP as well, the a typical naughty school girl getting spanked by her teacher.
I also suspect that I will come back and edit this a number of times as I learn more from being a sub to Daddy and also what it means to be in a Daddy/little girl relationship.