Daily Prompt: INTJ

 

 

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Do parties and crowds fill you with energy, or send you scurrying for peace and quiet?

Well I am one of those people who likes the idea of a party, but actually quite scared of them.  As to event like concert or sporting match where the crowd is expected to be in their thousands that is just a no go for me.

I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder (SADr), Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia to name main ones and the most severe that cause the most issues for me and my kids.  My symptoms can include shaking, hand wringing, stuttering, tics (physical and bodily), increased heart rate and breathing, panic attack and at it’s worst; if I can’t control it, I can faint.

Saying all of what I have above sounds bad and can be life restricting; yes, but there is ways, techniques and measure I have evolved over the last 20 years to cover-up or compensate for this.  It can be as simple as causing myself pain to refocus my attention, controlling my breathing or removing myself for a time from the situation.  Another coping technique is to make sure I go with someone who understands what to do when.  It can be one of my children, friend and member of staff in a store as I sometimes don’t require much of someone attention, but rather a familiar face who I can chat to.

Lastly, there is some situations which I cannot do even if I have the kids or a friend there, like a bonfire night event I can cope with loud noise due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  I have had to rely on other people to take them so they don’t miss out on normal modern day events as most of these big events often have fireworks to celebrate.  Even having fireworks at home requires someone else not only to light the fireworks but also supervise the kids, as I can’t be any where near them.

This has caused issues with my neighbours who don’t always understand PTSD or SADr and they do silly things like light fireworks 3 foot from my front door; like last firework’s night, or have a big party which ends up outside; most neighbours let me know so I lock myself in, shut the curtains etc to keep the noise and faces becoming an issue.

Some might wonder why my neighbours have to do this, it is because at my current house is a terrace house which has no garden at the front or back, my house is only 15 foot wide by 20 foot and there is 4 house in two set of terraces with similar 20 foot down the hill slightly with three set of flats 20 foot behind the house.  So when someone has a party and it spills onto the street it can invade personal space fast.  Also folk around here are not known respect things like doors and windows, it is not the first time when I have had drunk/drugged people wander into my house.

 

7 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: INTJ

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