Since I came home from Daddy’s the last time I have been in full time big mode and had no little time what so ever and I so need some little time so badly.
Before came home my ex-hubby was acting really stroppy, even though after he gave me permission to stay at Daddy’s until he was ready to move out on the Friday before I came home. But by the Monday, he had changed his tune he wanted me home NOW, I managed to let him to me to stay until Friday due to prior commitments I had already arranged.
By the end of the following week, he was leaving them for longer and longer alone. Although, my kids are not little anymore; they are 16 & 14, but emotionally a lot younger than that and they can’t be left on their own for long periods of time. With this it made it clear he wasn’t going to keep an eye on them properly.
The reason for the sudden change in his because he is been offered a flat by a neighbouring council. Which I don’t have an issue with him moving out I actually welcome it, what I do have an issue with is him moving into a totally empty house with NOTHING at all. I am not sure how a separated spouse is meant to act when their ex spouse moves out, for me even though our marriage hasn’t worked I do still care and worry about him. I wasn’t happy with him moving into a totally empty flat and told him as much, but E bloody stubborn streak reared its ugly head again, so officially moved on the 8th of this month. So officially a single mum again.
As a single mum it means I am now responsible for all the cleaning, cooking and making sure the kids are up and ready. That sounds like it would be difficult for most married women who would find themselves being suddenly responsible for it, but me it is nothing new, not only because I was a single mum before I meet my now ex but because in our marriage I was one to do it all any way. Even when he stopped working all household duties still fell on my shoulders, it didn’t matter if I was attending Uni or when I gave it up. I wish it was not just the common household duties but even DIY and garden duties also.
I actually went on shopping strike about 18 months after a particularly bad argument with E who claimed he could shop for less. So I stopped doing the shopping and not having any control of our finances. Cool, I thought he would find out how hard it was to do everything with the limited finances we did have. Then about 9 – 12 months E suddenly decided my cleaning wasn’t good enough or wasn’t doing correctly so I went on household duty strike. Only regret I had is I should have written a blog all about it the state of my home was getting into like this Canadian mum did but I was so embarrassed about the state it was getting into and also to be honest I couldn’t afford the wine bill lol.
So my first 3 weeks since E has left has been spent cleaning, scrubbing and mopping my way around my house trying to slowly bring it back up to my standard; although not quite there it is way better than has been for the best part of this year. Also E had claimed he took all that was his, while going around the house I managed to find 3 bags of washing of his clothes alone never mind the other bits and bobs that he had left also, they are all now waiting for him to picked up, which he did on Sunday.
Another added stress for me at the moment is the money I am waiting for finances to be sorted out it is a joy have to make what little money I do have stretch to feed me and the 3 kids, as well as electric and gas.