30 Days Of Submission: Day Twenty Six

There is nothing sexier to me than a man who is comfortable in a suit.

What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?

Oh goodie a question that I can answer in depth after a few that I have really struggled with.

Qualities that are must have for any Dominant partner that I have had, do have or might have in the future:-

  • Intelligence – I don’t just mean book smart either, for me intelligence not only from formal education, but also life experience, the people in our lives and our interests and/or hobbies.
  • Ability to hold a conversation – I love to chat about loads of different subjects not just about BDSM and believe when I say any Dominate has to be able his own when my kids get started on one of their in-depth discussion.  For example, my middle son; who was thirteen at the time, and I were on our way to an appointment regarding schooling, we had to take the train to get to it.  We were having a discussion “Why there is was not a shoot to kill warrant on Osama Bin Laden every been issued” now this was two nearly three years before he was found and killed.  He put over some interesting points and argued them well, not bad for a kid who is severe dyslexic and only has a reading age of 9 years; even now.  It wasn’t until the next day, until I spoke with a gent on the train on my way to University who turned out to be judge, who said “I have lawyers in my court who can’t put an argument together like your child done yesterday.  You should be so proud.”  I am always proud of my kids, the reason for recounting this story is my middle child is one who I care for full-time, he has his issues which are many and complex.  But for all off that him and his siblings are always surprising me and make me proud every day.
  • Be willing to embrace the kink – for most of my adult life, I have lived as vanilla women, it has taken a lot for me to “come out of the closet”; for use of a better phrase, and embrace my kinky side fully.  Now it is out, it ain’t going back.  So be warned boys.
  • G.S.O.H – sorry I love to laugh and laugh a lot I do.  Normal over something or nothing hehe.  I have naughty and  dirty mind which gets me into loads of interesting trouble and 99% of the has me rolling around the floor laughing.  For me, laughter has been my medication of choice for so long; that, tub of Ben & Jerry and chocolate, has gotten me out of severe depression, through the stresses of my marriage and also the stresses of have 3 children all with special needs to different degrees.  Many times that Daddy and I have being “playing” and for whatever reason one of us has said or done something and we both have been rolling around the floor laughing.
  • Squeezable Booty – sorry boys you think of your “packages”; or whatever name you use for your male equipment” but for me, to peek my interest first and foremost you MUST have a bum that I can grab a hold off.  No bony bums for me thank you very much give me a booty with flesh on it and I am one happy sub.
  • Ability to kiss – there is no point; well for me any way, being in a relationship with someone who can kiss me properly.
  • Ability to hug – again another one which if you can’t hug right then there will be no relationship with me.
  • Be comfortable in each other company – By the end of my marriage with E were basically living separate lives, but in same house.  He didn’t or want to spend time with me for whatever his reason were.  Things that I like about not only Daddy, but ex-Sir as they not only enjoy my company, but they sought to spend the time to get to know me, enjoy conversations about a large number of subjects, just sitting together in a room say nothing but just cuddle.  It seems such a small thing, but for me it has been missing for so long that I wouldn’t want to lose it again.
  • BE DOMINATE IN THE RELATIONSHIP – it what has sought, have found and if needed will be looking for again is for my partner to be the Dominate in the relationship, I want that control, I need that guidance and now I tasted it with both ex-Sir and now Daddy I so don’t ever want to give it up EVER.

I don’t believe the qualities listed above are too many or too complex, it might surprise some by how little there is, but for me personally it doesn’t matter what height you are, what body type have, what type of car you drive or how much you have or haven’t got in your bank account it is a man’s personality that will get me interested or disinterested in someone fastest.

What qualities that are a MUST NOT:

  • “I am a Dom and you will submit to me” – any Dominate that tries to act like that around me will automatically get told to “Back off” or “Hell no!”  or “Goodbye” yes I am submissive, but any person who wishes to be my Dominate has to earn that right it is not automatic thing.  It never has been that way for me and never will be for me EVER.  Because I choose to be polite and courteous towards you and willing to answer any question; within reason, you ask, doesn’t mean I have chosen to submit you it doesn’t make me any less of a submissive.
  • “I am new to BDSM, but I am going do X, Y and Z to you” – not without training you are not.
  • “I have read that “book” and I know all I need to know” – not without training and some serious time to consider what you want to know you are not.
  • “You don’t need a safe word” – with that statement I am hitting the ignore button or walking out the door FAST.
  • “You will obey my every command, no matter what!” – with that statement I am hitting the ignore button or getting out of the door FAST.
  • “I am the Dominant and I don’t see why you need hard and soft limits” – really you don’t , there is door don’t let it hit your arse on the way out.

Those listed above for MUST NOTS are actual comments said to me in the last three months or so.  Thank god sites like Fet have block button’s, same with every major messengers.  Those comments have come from random people who sought me out to have a conversation with only, as I haven’t been looking or seeking a new Dominate.

{NOTE} Please remember anything said here is my own personal opinion, it is not said to offend, upset or any other emotion that some of my statements may bring {END NOTE}

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