30 Days Of Submission: Day Twenty Three

Found this on my Google reader the other day and just think it is amazing picture.

Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

An easy place to start would be things that repel or I dislike would be what is contained within my hard limits

  • No watersports – it is something I have has repelled me for a long time, I really like a gent who I met before my now ex-husband.  One of the reasons I wouldn’t get into a relationship is like women to pee on him.  For me, it makes me feel sick at the thought of doing that to another person, never mind someone peeing on me.  That and the infection risk makes it an instant no no for me.
  • No scat play – I am mum and yes I had my fair share of dirty nappies (diapers) with three children and although never a pleasent part of being a parent, it is not something that would accept for someone to do to me or them to ask me to do them.  Again the risk of infection is too great.
  • No blood play – I can deal with bloody noses, cuts and numerous head wounds that the kids have managed to get, it doesn’t freak me out at all.  But with the risk of infections like Hepatitis, AIDS to name but a few makes this is an instant no no.
  • No Medical play – I don’t particularly like doctors, most definitely don’t like medical procedures and I make such a bad patient, so for these reasons this has made it to my hard list.
  • No needle play – I have a phobia over needles, have been known to faint from even having my blood sugar taken and cry like a big girl even over the sight off a needle although slowly getting better it is still not there and is ever to be possible for this type of play.
  • No weapon play – I have had in the past a number abusive relationships where weapons were used and therefore I will not be around any type of weapons as they literally scare me into a panic.
  • No breath play – because of past abusive relationship where my neck was held and my breathing restricted, I panic the minute anyone goes near my neck and have been known to scream down the house.  It even happens if my children try to give me a hug and they squeeze too tight, therefore I tend avoid being held around the neck and will in fact automatically protect that area.
  • Not being confined in small/tight places –  This is due to another phobia; agoraphobia, which has led me to faint at times, go into a complete panic and hyperventilate.  So for safety reasons I will always class this as a hard limit.

For phobias those listed above I have tried many different therapies as off yet none have worked, although I keep trying different things.  I have a number different phobia’s not only social, but also of spiders, rodents, snakes, heights, etc.  I try not to let them stop doing most things, more so when I trying to do something the children want to do; for example, walking the Forth Road Bridge not only did I walk it once but I actually walked back over it again.  Just because I am highly phobic it doesn’t mean I would like to pass them along to my children.

I am lucky as Daddy is only supportive of my hard limits but has many similar ones for his own reasons, which I can’t comment on as this is in my words and not his, although if he wishes to reveal his hard limits and the reasons behind them then he has full access to this blog/journal.

The only time my hard limits have ever called an issue is with ex-Sir as wanted to explore watersports and actively wanted to control if and when I could go to the bathroom as ex-Sir wanted me not only to be his submissive but his slave; this became another point of contention between us also, I did try to research as  much as I could about watersports, the information is surprisingly limited, but below is what I found at the time from a number of different sites;

Good girls don’t play with their pee, and they certainly don’t play with the pee of others. From an early age, we are taught that it isn’t proper to leave the bathroom door open. Our bodies are private and we shouldn’t allow others to see us go potty. Even as adults we say we “have to use the restroom,” or “go to the john”. Most of us don’t announce that we have to urinate. PP, water sports(WS), and GS are activities that are usually considered edge play.

People become interested in PP for many different reasons. It is also a way of building a strong connection with another person. In order to accept someone’s urine, either on one’s skin, or in one’s mouth, there must be extreme levels of openness and a high degree of trust. Peeing on command is the ultimate giving over for some. For others being peed on or peeing on another is strictly about control.  As with a lot of BDSM activities, playing with urine breaks societal taboos. This alone can be a rush for some people. Finally, the sharp smell of urine, its bitter taste, the warm and sticky feel, all contribute to Europhiles’ love affair with pee.

Many slaves are required to drink their Master’s piss, some willingly, others with force. Most men into watersports like pissing on someone or being pissed on. Whether clothed or naked, the feeling of fresh warm piss splashing all over your chest or genitals or arse can be incredibly sensual. The feeling of body contact when one or both of you is soaked in piss is another sensual trip. Revel in the slippery wet sensation, and the smells. After all, sex itself is inherently wet!

WS is the slang term for the inclusion of urine or the act of passing urine in sexual or erotic play in order to enhance sexual excitement or intimacy, or in other words, erotic pissing. The technical term for this is urolagnia or urophilia. This is generally harmless, as long as the piss doesn’t get into any orifice or wound. If someone does end up urinating in your mouth (or you drink your own urine), he could conceivably transmit an infection.

Urination is a completely natural bodily function, and yet one that is considered extremely personal or private. The water that passes through us carries the very essence of our selves. Not only does it come from deep within our bodies; it comes from every part of the body. Urine is a part of our blood for a time before it flows ou t of us. Blood flows to all points inside us, and urine is what’s left after the blood has nurtured our bodies. In some naturopathic or holistic disciplines, it is called the water of life.

There are many things that may make piss or pissing an erotic turn-on for some men. Water is fun to play with and play in. For some, it is the very cultural taboos associated with pissing that are the turn-on. For others its a means of domination or control. WS is a way to be deliciously naughty by sharing something that’s supposed to be completely private. It’s not literally dirty, but only in the sense that it’s taboo. For others, it is the intimacy that pissing implies that eroticises piss and pissing. We can share this very personal and private act, this essential substance with a partner

Even with reading this and talking it over with ex-Sir I still couldn’t see the turn on for him as much as I tried to get my head around it.

I believe if ex-Sir and I had continued then I am very sure that my reluctance to take our relationship as far as watersports and for me to be his slave would have became more and more an issue and could have meant the relationship wouldn’t continue, although these weren’t the reasons for our relationship ended.

Unless it is a hard limit and certain soft limits; that I am not willing to go into further details at this time, I am open to try everything at least once.  This is because my submission is still very much just began and I hope I have long time living within this lifestyle, I have decided to be closed off to most things, as long as it doesn’t cross mine or my partner’s hard limits.

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