Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission? How do you define service? What does it mean to you? If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?
This could be the shortest post ever as I am not sure what it means by service or it could be most in depth one yet. After looking at other blogs through a Google search to see how others have defined.
Service in my relationship with Daddy includes housework duties or chores, these are minimum for us at the moment as we are only together part-time.
Daddy will say I have my pet projects around his home; he calls it this as he never asked or ordered me to do them but I still do, these include making sure the dishwasher is stacked and when full, put on to wash, I also automatically put a load of washing on when there is enough and washing around the countertops. We both share the cooking, although I do love to cook for those who enjoy eating so I do tend to take over a bit of that chore.
Daddy’s requires me to make sure that place looks tidy, there is times were he will order me to do certain chores like dusting for a punishment. Other than that we generally work through whatever housework equally.
I am not a great gardener so I think for the sake of any Daddy’s plants and trees I will stay out off that area hehe as I am liable to kill them off.
Wikipedia defines service in BDSMas:
In human sexuality, Service-oriented is a term used in the BDSM community to refer relationship dynamic.
In a service-oriented relationship, the focus is on how the submissive can contribute resources to the dominant partner, provide for some of their needs or advance their goals. These relationships may or may not also include romantic feelings.
A common example of such a relationship would be one in which the submissive and dominant were romantically attracted and the submissive is collared to the dominant, indicating that they are “in service” to that dominant. The collar may well be predicated on certain performance levels or the usefulness of that submissive in specific areas. If those things were to change or dissipate the couple may remain romantically linked but often the collar will be removed.
For the submissive in such a relationship, the collar is seen as a status symbol signifying the approval and acknowledgement of a person they wish to serve. They often take great pleasure and pride in their status and relationship.
For the dominant, the benefits are practical as well as emotional. Many take great pleasure in being ‘served’ in this manner, and of course having the additional resources available is of immense utility.
In sense described above Daddy’s say I do all of that in spades. Whether it is helping around his home or within the bedroom; although I am not going to go into further detail here. He is always amazed that I am so submissive to him without a collar; which I have refused to accept for the moment until I sort some issues out within my life. To be honest, I don’t want the collared yet from Daddy as I consider a collar to be like a symbolic as a wedding band. Always I consider a collar to be given as firm commitment that the relationship is strong and will be very long term.
I know there is different types of collars; play, training, intermediate, permanent, and they mean different things, it is personal importance to be offered one by a Dominant. The relationship with Daddy is not quite there, although do have a type of collar that I can wear if Daddy and I attend an event.
Now I know there is also service called “sexual service” where you make sure the Dominant needs are meet even before that of the submissive, I did that before even before I entered this lifestyle properly. I like to make sure my partner is wearing a very large grin after we are done, no matter what that may be doing. I am not sure if that makes me any more submissive or just a person who likes to make sure her partner is pleased with the experience or not, but it is me and who I am.
Lastly also included with “sexual services” is a subject which can be, but is not always include within BDSM is where the Dominant can ask their submissive to either meet with someone of the Dominant’s choosing and inform the submissve that they have to be “serviced” as if they were the Dominant. This can include more than one person at a time, can be done with the their Dominant being there or different location. During this encounter the submissive is expected to serve this person until they are returned to their own Dominant, no matter what.
Now yes Daddy and I are in an open relationship, but he has of yet not required or requested that I do this. I personally I would hope and pray that if I was asked to then Daddy would know this person well enough to know that I was going to be safe. But I am unclear at this time of this published IF this will ever be part of our relationship.